March is here! (a.k.a. 34 weeks) (a.k.a. T-minus-6 weeks!)

I can't believe we are at 34 weeks already. The uncertain amount of time left is presumed to be an even month-and-a-half and we're starting to bite our nails. The suspense is getting heavy. At my job, I've got a project looming over my head which promises to take me out of town for three three-day trips. We haven't "won" the job yet and the more I think about it, the more I get sick thinking about being so far from home and C going into labor. Anyway, I'm trying to be optimistic that luck will guide us through this month. I mean, I have two four-leaf clovers that I've been saving for some time now and figured I could cash one in for March in the spirit of Saint Patrick's Day. Sure, I can't be too certain that I have any Irish blood in me, but I suspect that in this case "it's the thought that counts."

I feel like as soon as April 1st hits, our baby will be on its way, arriving any minute thereon.

Meanwhile, I'm looking into other career options and wish that looked a little brighter. It seems like there are only a few doors available to me, and most of them lead back to school. Dammit!
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In other news, we picked up and assembled our crib this weekend! Woohoo! We also added a few more splashes of paint to the nursery.

Also, we're preparing for the first of TWO baby showers which will be this weekend and next.

Breaking News in the Real World: Work less, but not work-less

My company isn't doing so hot, so this Monday morning we three employees were told cuts in hours were to be made, effective immediately. Fortunately, for me, this means a 32 hour work week at the same pay rate, keeping my benefits (which may or may not be necessary), and potentially an extra day of my week devoted to the personal time I value so dearly.

This isn't necessarily permanent (my boss explained this change should only last 2 or 3 months, until seasonal work picks back up); but without having consulted our budget, it could prove to be a great situation for our family. A day I could devote to being Daddy Daycare; a day less of paying some stranger to watch our kid; a day less of wage earning to pay for some stranger to watch our kid, thus helping to balance this change in our income....

Not sure what will come of it, exactly, but for now the mood is very positive! Good life go!

As they say: To be continued...

Paternity Leave?

I promised C that I would talk with my boss about taking time off after the baby is born (a.k.a. paternity leave). In the US, a dad can take 12 weeks of unpaid leave--and have a job at the same pay when he returns--if that job is the government or is a company with more than 50 employees among some other stipulations. Unfortunately, my company, which has the most employees it's ever had, is over-staffed by 5 people.

This is what Babycenter.com has to say:

How and when should I request leave?

...Consider discussing paternity leave with your employer as soon as you're ready to announce the pregnancy — usually after your partner's first trimester... You'll be in a stronger position to negotiate a leave if you approach your boss with a specific plan and allow him or her plenty of time to help you implement it. (If you have trusted co-workers who have been through this before, ask them how they handled their leave and what kind of reaction they got.) Offer your boss solutions rather than problems by having some ideas for how your work can be handled while you're away. Consider asking for leave and getting approval early in the pregnancy even if you're not sure you'll want to or be able to take unpaid leave when the time comes. It's easier to come back early than it is to ask for more time.

What if I don't qualify for leave under FMLA?

If you work only part time or for a small company, you don't qualify for paternity leave under FMLA and your employer may not provide this benefit. If this is the case, it can't hurt to ask your boss for a leave of absence anyway. Many companies may still be willing to negotiate some sort of time off for a valued employee. The earlier you start making a case for yourself as a valuable, hard-working person, the better position you'll be in for bargaining...

If you're still not getting anywhere, make sure you find out whether you're entitled to some kind of leave under your state's laws as these benefits may be more generous than the FMLA. Talking with other new dads about how they managed time away from work might also give you more creative ideas about how to take the time off to bond with your newborn child.

How can I make the most of my time with my family if I can't take unpaid leave?

If you're not able to take paternity leave, here are a few ideas for maximizing your time with your new family:

•  Consider working overtime before your baby comes and exchange it for time off after the birth.
•  On nights when you don't have to work the next day, have your partner wake you up when the baby is finished nursing so you can be the one to rock her back to sleep. Or take turns getting up for feedings.
•  Your child will experience many "firsts" in her first year of life. Whenever these events can be scheduled, do so when you have time off from work.
•  During the first year of your baby's life, look at any activities that take you away from your baby. Consider saying no to some of those events to spend more time with your newborn.

Visiting family, Health, House, Work

It's been a hot minute since any update. As this is a journal of sorts, I owe it to myself to check in.

Well. Things have been good. Mostly quiet. C's nausea seems to be subtly waning away into nothingness.

We were at a family function over the weekend and everyone there knew the news of our pregnancy--which was nice because we could talk freely about it. The moms were able to share stories and were curious to hear about C's experience.

Just before that event we had stopped by C's cousins' house to visit them and their 2-week old daughter. How freaking small! Like, freakishly tiny. I was blown away--like, I had never seen a newborn before. It was the first time I got a little freaked out, like, "This is gonna be us in 6 months!" A new piece of furniture that it seems we don't yet have the space for. We were able to share our good news with them and they were happy for us.

I need to get my butt to work and finish our basement--finish the drywall, add some flooring, and get a bathroom installed down there. After that we can start on a baby's room...
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Fears about H1N1/"Swine Flu" are rising and I'm trying to keep optimistic about everything. So many things can go wrong between now and forever that I just can't let those fears dwell in my head space.
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C and I got in a little argument yesterday about my job and the pressure to work "above and beyond" as a non-exempt yet supposedly "highly-compensated" salaried employee at a fledgling company (this means I'm expected to work over 40 hours a week without over-time pay). I believe any other job in the same line of work will come with similar demands/expectations. The alternative? Quit and become a stay-at-home dad. Maybe get a part-time job. I agree that we could probably take the cut in total income... Is it possible? Would it work? Not yet comfortable with the idea of quitting my job, but can see that it would suck to leave the baby every day in the hands of strangers I'm paying to do what a parent should be doing.

Vacation: Part I

Hello from South Carolina. We've been on vacation in Myrtle Beach for 5 days now. We left Saturday evening, stayed in a hotel near the Virginia-West Virginia border, and arrived on Sunday afternoon. Things have been relatively great: C's nausea has been pretty low, she's been sleeping relatively well, and nothing has been terrible. Ha. That doesn't sound like a good report, but honestly it is. We're having fun with my family, the weather has been awesome, and above all we are really enjoying ourselves. Early on, C joked that feeling good on this trip was a sign that she needed to quit work. I think there is some truth in that, no doubt.

We've been keeping the trip pretty low key. We did take one risky adventure: horseback riding. We signed a waiver that warned pregnant women should not risk riding horses. Just like all other warnings, it's never clear if they mean women of all stages of pregnancy or not. According to... the internet... its acceptable to ride a horse during the first, if not also the second trimester. The risk comes with falling or getting kicked. So, we wore helmets to be safe. No joke.

Other than that I over-packed groceries for the trip. Multigrain Cheerios, Fiber Plus pancake mix, wheat bread, pitas, trail mix, bananas, caffiene-free soda, ginger ale, granola bars, chips, protein drink, V8 juice, popcorn... We haven't touched half that stuff, but a few of those things have been very handy to curb morning sickness--especially handfuls of the Cheerios in the morning.

So far so good.

First doctor visit!

Today I was supposed to travel to Cincinnati for work with Mark and two colleagues from the company that contracted us. Last Friday was the day I realized that this work trip and C's first big appointment with the doctor were going to conflict. My stomach hit the floor at that staff meeting. Not knowing how to broach the subject--as we've decided to keep the news a secret--I kept my mouth shut. As the weekend went on I started questioning whether I should mention everything to Mark in an effort to stay in town and go to the appointment. Sunday night I decided I would approach Mark and try to avoid Cincy. Yesterday afternoon, when I got back to the office from the field, I went into Mark's office and asked if he had a moment to talk as I shut the door behind me. I could tell he was instantly panicked as I never appear so serious. I knew he thought I was preparing to tell him I was quitting. I teared up as I started with "I didn't want to tell you like this..." and broke the news that C was pregnant. What I meant was that I wanted to tell him later on down the road, when the pregnancy was more certain, and we could be enjoying a beer at the bar. I was really emotional--which made me quite embarrassed--but to let the flood of excitement about the baby and stress about work pour out got to me. Long story short, Mark was super supportive and at one point said, "There are definitely things more important than work." I could barely believe how supportive he was--but then again, I know Mark is a big family man and while he appears to be a workaholic, he definitely does everything he can for his family and so would understand why this first visit to the doctor would be so important.

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So, today we were able to wake up slower than usual to prepare for our first exam. The doctor seems really cool and I was thrilled to witness the first ultrasound that showed a little bean with a heartbeat. C seemed pretty annoyed that I made such a deal about being there, but hopefully, deep down, she was relieved that I was nearby and so excited. Everything is still so early, but today's visit calmed the biggest fears we've faced so far, to let room for a whole new round of concerns to settle in.

We left the office with a couple photos of our blueberry sized embryo and treated ourselves to second-breakfast at Panera. Awesome.

Good life go!